Clandestine


My Days

I begin my day hoping that it goes well than yesterday. Of-course its what most people hope about but what I hope the most is today I don’t have to face my father, today maybe I’ll cry less, maybe someone will make me feel worthy. I look at the mirror and say I am beautiful… More


My Subconscious

I hold unbearable pain that no one could imagine of. I never imagined that my sweet 16 could be so devastating to me that it would change the whole real me. I really want to know what my true mistake is. How could he even think of it. What does he think of me. I… More


#Despondency

What’s going on here? I am not a show piece. You are not allowed to do this to your own people. They are not your tools. Who the heck are you to do this? It hurts, why don’t you understand it. Why is my life so cursed 🤬? What the hell is happening? I am… More


A page of my story

My heart feels a bit enlighted for today I was successful in making him feel what I felt few days ago. At first he was trying to hide his tears but his tears seemed to reveal itself from his moist eyes. The things that I felt for him made him repent and cry which in… More


The Old Circus

How could I be so blind sided. What have I been so busy in, what the heck was I involved in? Every moment I feel that something’s really calm and the calmness is non other than his patience. The vague patience that he had been holding up increasing the bar of his rage had burst… More


Reflection

Its over a year now that from the day when everything in my life fell apart. When my my life diverged into the way of desolation, despair and sacrifices. How could I forget the Black Day, 3rd March, when I was fighting back with all my strength to save her. I was weak then, I… More


Delicasy of life

Her delicate fragile voice. Her unspirited gloomy voice gives me a signal that it’s still not over. We are living on the edge of a knife, any disaster can turn the table upside down. Everyday we hope that god will listen to our prayers and lift us from this dirt. I cannot bear with the… More


Him

Not having a photo with you doesn’t upset me much for a photo with you standing next to me wouldn’t matter if you are always there with me as a support in every step of my life. I tried keeping all my hatred and ego aside today but unfortunately you didn’t put the same effort… More


Fault Part

It’s all my fault. I wish I had died in my mother’s womb like any other fortunate baby who don’t have to grow up to disappoint their guardian. If only I had taken birth as a boy, he would never have to suffer and take my burden. If only I had the courage to slit… More


Extremity of despondency

They say that start your day with positivity, good thoughts and feelings so that your day will glow as bright as the sun. They tell you to think before you speak but never give you the suggestions about what to speak and how to react in an extreme condition. Only if there was a way… More


The diverged path

Every thing feels so weird now. Any content that pops up in the television associating a family feels like a cringe content to watch together. It’s I and you that makes we, that joins pieces of people’s heart into one part. Everyone is completely hollow even though having complete wholeness individually. With every road that… More


More on the blog

Writer or not?

Can one incident of life seize the one and only gift of a writer? Can the flame of past activity put out the flame of writing? It has been long since I really sorted out what my subconscious mind has been dealing with. I can’t lie that I messed up or my life has become… More

Woman or no-one

I am on the outside always looking in. Will I ever be more than I’ve always been?  Will I ever fly in the sky where I had always dreamed to go or will I always have my feet tied to stone? Will I be able to go back to where it all started and mend that… More

Working Things Out

When you’re in a relationship with a person as a friend, as a partner or as a sibling, you build it on mutual understanding keeping all their flaws and insecurities in mind. Your every step with them must be monitored whether or not it will backfire against them. It’s not a move that you calculate… More